...oh apple. I want to eat you, but, but...then i'd have to cut you up. and that takes effort. Oh apple, why cant you cut yourself up for me? Id then eat you easily enough without exerting too much effort, because afterall, i am a lazy bitch. Apple, why do you tease me so? Luscious and green, not a brown bruise on you, not a patch of random yellow (i mean, What the fuck is with random patches of discolour? i like my apple pigmency to be constant and consistent). you are perfectly round, just the way i like you, and the condensation that has been produced accents your desireable refreshingnesslessnessment. How i long for a sweet taste of your juices. APPLE!!! GET THE FU@K IN MY MOUTH!!!
Im so lonely...
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You can get cut apples with your happy meal at mcdonalds. :)
ReplyDelete:O
ReplyDeleteSounds like someone needs advice on how to eat big ol' apples properly...I think you'll find I'm quite adequately equipped and definitely don't eat my FUCKING APPLES WEIRD.
ReplyDeleteYou do Matthew.
ReplyDeleteYou do ...
You devour them. your apples look like theyre wearing a corsette after your done with em. you and your big mouth...moooth.
ReplyDeleteyou can serenade it with that poem, and then maybe it'll like... strip itself? or you could insult it, make it emo and it'd cut itself...=D
ReplyDeletejust eat it like a man conor....
ReplyDelete