Fail #196: Google Maps' Picure of My House

Well, there have been many changs since google maps took its last pictures of houses, in my case, the house i live at now with mum has a picture from when we werent living in it, but the old owners were. and as i was looking at it, because my sister requested to look at it, she noticed (sister = julie) that there was a penis on the driveway. look at it. you will see.

EDIT: I have been informed you cannot see it. ill deal with it when im not busy. but theres a penis on my driveway...not a real one. goodnight.




this is the best angle to see it from, its hard to see the balls, but the head is pretty distinct.

thanks google!!!

#195:

Fail #194: Nevershoutnever...especially when your dead, cos...well, you cant.

I dont remember all my dreams last night but i know i had many. i was looking at the soundwave lineup and as i was looking through the list my eyes brushed over "Nevershoutnever" and it triggered the memory of one part of my dreams last night. it was strange. the part of this dream i remembered went like this:

I entered a bedroom (dunno who's) and i saw Eddy on a bed, he turned to me and then whispered, "conor..." whilst softly weeping. I was worried, but before i said anything, Eddy pulled up a magazine and showed me a picture of the nevershoutnever guy and choked thoguh the words, "He's gone, he passed away. nevershout never, conor, hes dead..." and sobbed a bit on the corner of the bed. I remember only feeling like crying too, and im not sure if i did, cos thats all i remember.

Strange little dream huh. i dont even know if eddy likes nevershoutnever or if he's even listened to him before...

I hope its not a premonition.

Fail #193: Apple.

...oh apple. I want to eat you, but, but...then i'd have to cut you up. and that takes effort. Oh apple, why cant you cut yourself up for me? Id then eat you easily enough without exerting too much effort, because afterall, i am a lazy bitch. Apple, why do you tease me so? Luscious and green, not a brown bruise on you, not a patch of random yellow (i mean, What the fuck is with random patches of discolour? i like my apple pigmency to be constant and consistent). you are perfectly round, just the way i like you, and the condensation that has been produced accents your desireable refreshingnesslessnessment. How i long for a sweet taste of your juices. APPLE!!! GET THE FU@K IN MY MOUTH!!!

Im so lonely...

Fail #192: Parental Warnings

(2 hours earlier) Me: "Im gonna do my homework so i dont have to get up in the morning, mum".

(2 hours later) Mum: "Hey Conor? are you doing your homework?"

Me: "...Nope"

Mum: "Oh Conor. If you did your bloody homwork when you said you were going to, youd be mucking around by now."

Me: "Mum, i was smart. I skipped the homework bit and went straight to the mucking around".